People Change

XKX: Thank you :) Well basically, she dated this shy guy when the pair of them were around 12/13 (very young!) and when they broke up the pair of them acted like each other didnt exist. And 3/4 years later she decided to call him up and ask to be friends again & apologised for all the crap that happened before. Only now that they r friends, she feels that the friendship is one-sided...
XKX: as she always texts him first & says hello first on msn..
Mason: 12 and 13 is really young for a relationship
Mason: how old are they now?
XKX: they are about 17
XKX: and i feel sorry for her :(
XKX: but he is still quite a shy guy
Mason: Does she have any romantic interest in this guy?
XKX: Yep she still has feelings for him but wouldnt dream of telling him as shes only now got him back as a friend.
XKX: but she just wants to find a way for him to start WANTING to speak to her without her texting first
XKX: if u get what i mean
XKX: ?
Mason: ya, i know what you mean
Mason: do they hang out or just talk?
Mason: text? msn?
XKX: yeah they have hung out once and also text/msn but since they have gone back to college he seems to have shut down as he is quite shy.
XKX: he no longer returns the "and how u doin" when she asks him how he is on msn
Mason: its just sounds like he isn't interested
XKX: oh right
Mason: guys mature a lot differently than girls
Mason: and 3-4 years especially at that young of an age is a HUGE different
Mason: he isn't the same guy that he was when they first dated
Mason: and she is probably trying to talk to him and treat him like he is
Mason: best way for her to approach it would be to start over again and start from the beginning and get to know him all over again
Mason: because if he is that shy and she is asking him how he is doing then it may put him off a little bit if he isn't completely comfortable with her
Mason: and it sounds like he isn't comfortable
Mason: shy guys don't like to give off too much information about themselves and even the smallest thing like asking how they are can make them uncomfortable
XKX: oh right, yeah i think im following u, so what is the best thing to do?
XKX: like if she cant ask him how he is then whats the best thing?
XKX: like to get him comfortable
Mason: she needs to reconnect with him and start over from the beginning
Mason: when you are dating at 12 and 13 that is just so young
Mason: that he isnt the same person he was back then so she has to come at him like she would any guy she doesnt know
XKX: oh right and what should she do to "come at him" like what sort of things shud she say?
Mason: if he is that shy then he wont make the first move
Mason: she needs to do that without breeching his comfort levels
XKX: okay, so what should she do to achieve that?
XKX: like what to say to him?
Mason: she needs to take the lead without being too forward
Mason: and it needs to be in person so they can reconnect again
Mason: She needs to make plans and then include him
Mason: As in, "I'm free tonight, lets go get coffee"
XKX: ahh right :) but what if he gets shy about doing that too?? u know meetng up n stuff, how can she asure him it will cool?
Mason: she can't
Mason: there is no way too see until you do it
Mason: there is no sure things when it comes to dating
Mason: or courting
XKX: ahh right, but what if he says no>? should she suggest another time.>
XKX: ?
Mason: if he says no then dont push it
Mason: that will make her sound way too needy
Mason: if not then drop it there
Mason: I would always wait until the day of to invite him
Mason: because the longer in advance the date is then the more time he has to think of an excuse to not go
Mason: if he says no then drop it like it never happened and then do it again another time
XKX: okay dokey - thank you :)
XKX: uve really helped, ill pass it on to my friend :)
Mason: Your welcome ;-)
XKX: Thanks :)