A Place Women Can Get Answers From Men

Welcome to Ask Mason!

For years I have listened to female friends of mine complain about guys and ask for my advice over and over again. As a guy, a lot of their problems are simple for me to diagnose but women just don't understand men like they should. I have been giving advice to women for years and now this is your chance to ask me anything. Don't hold back.

All names and email address will be kept anonymous. Email any and all questions to mstanley669@hotmail.com

I am also on MSN with that same email from time to time. Feel free to talk to me there and ask questions as well. Conversations may be posted but names and emails will be changed.


Monday, April 14, 2008

Diamonds and Gold

Dear Mason,

I have been with my boyfriend for about 6 months now and things are starting to get bad. When we first started dating we would go out and have fun. He would take me to dinners and we would go to parties and hang out with both of our friends and he would show me off to his friends. It was so cute. This lasted for a couple months but recently all we have been doing is staying in watching TV and sitting at his friend's house watching TV. I don't get it. I ask him if he wants to go to dinner or a party or just out and every time he just says no like its nothing. I am getting frustrated. I like him a lot and want things to be how they were when we first started dating. How do I get things back that way? Am I doomed?


-Take me out


Take me out,


It sounds like you guys have just gotten to comfortable with each other. Don't get me wrong, that is a good thing to an extent. The way I had this explained to me in the past was diamonds and gold. In every relationship there needs to be an even amount of diamonds and gold. Woman need diamonds (date nights, walks on the beach, romantic sunsets, etc...) and men need gold (sex). A good relationship is an even amount of both diamonds and gold. From what you described to me about your relationship is that there is all gold and no diamonds. There needs to be an even amount of diamonds and gold. If he's not giving you the diamonds then why are you giving him the gold? If he isn't taking you out as much as he used to then you don't need to have sex as much as you used to. Don't tell him you are doing it, don't even be mean about doing it. Just as nonchalantly as he can say no to you when you ask to be taken out then you can just as nonchalantly say no to him when things start to heat up in the bedroom.

If your man isn't giving you diamonds then you shouldn't be giving him gold.

Think about it, with guys that are just friends, there is no diamonds and gold, you want this guy to be a boyfriend. You don't want him to be a guy you hang out with like you do with your male friends.

You need a spark in your relationship and things to be fun again like in the beginning. In the 'honeymoon stage". Sounds like you guys had a great honeymoon stage and then things fizzled. You need to get back in that mind state and start having fun with your man again. Go out, act stupid, be childish and have fun with each other. If your man isn't willing to do that to make you happy then you shouldn't be with someone who won't go out of his way to make you happy.

-Mason Stanley

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Erm...Mason I hope you don't mind but I gave the link of your website in a dating blog. There was this lady asking for advice on how to conduct friends with benefits and I thought she might be better off asking you...rather than the largely female readers of that particular blog.

x

Cara