Shy Guy?

Ok, for the most part I get when a guy gives up and isn't interested anymore and I just let it go too but I have a new situation. I met a cool guy that is just like me (except shy) on the internet which was a first for both of us and we got along well. We talked a lot and we were both naturally nice to each other. We met in person for the first time to check each other out and after about eight hours of him being totally nervous around me (in a cute way) we ended up having sex. He got sort of distant but we were still talking. I asked him what he thought about meeting me in person with no intention of talking about a relationship but HE thought that is what I was doing and after like two days of talking about it he said we should chill, ok so I think it won't go anywhere....right? Well I am pretty outgoing and we get along really well so we are still friendly so if I text or e-mail he texts or emails right back and treats me the same minus the initiation like before. I don't get it. Are guys realy that shy or scared easily that he would need two weeks or so to recover from a brief encounter with someone that he was totally into the week before? He is freind material but even better boyfriend material....should I trust my instincts and let him recover or is he not interested?

Thanks

-L


L,

It sounds like it was the thrill of the chase that got him attracted in the first place. Internet meetings are a little bit different than meeting someone in person initially. When you meet someone on the internet you get a false sense of security about knowing the person when you meet them. In reality, you only know what the person wants you to know about them.

You never really got to know the guy before you had sex with him, or should I say it sounds like the guy never really got to know you before he had sex with you. I have had sex with girls before I have really gotten to know them and after it becomes debatable if I want to get to know them. It is almost as if the guy isn't interested anymore because he has already gotten what he wanted even if he didn't know he wanted it.

He is returning your emails and texts without initiating them which is probably because he doesn't have the heart to tell you he isn't interested OR he is keeping you on the back burner until he is ready to bring you to the front again. He would be answering to keep you hooked because nothing is more awkward than that call 3 months down the road after no communication.

You need to contact him and initiate something if he is not going to and if he starts making excuses or is always busy then drop him. Excuses are to get out of something you don't want to do and when you start hearing them then stop wasting your time. When you do get together with him then take things slow, give him a little but not a lot. Make him chase you.