One Of The Boys

My boyfriend and I have been together for about a year and I really care about him but sometimes I wish he would give me some space! He is an amazing person and i love hanging out with him but I am one of those people that needs to be alone for a day or two. Not in a very depressing way, but more as to gather my thoughts and get away from all the drama. He hates it when i ask for some space because we don't get to see each other very often as it is; I am only here for the summer and will be going back to school in sept(300 miles away). I sometimes feel like the man in the relationship! Here are some examples that support my theory: forget his bday (I remember it now..),tell him to hang out with his buddies and drink or go to the strip club, i get along with all of his friends, he cries more than i do, do not like roses (I want my bf to think outside the box), and valentine's day is too cliche for me (last vday, I wanted to order pizza and drink while he wanted to do the whole dinner and movie thing).

It is very cute when he does this, but it is not something I would go all dubby wubby about. My friends say that I am an ungrateful, selfish and stupid girl because there are people who want to find a guy who would do these things for them and i'm just like w/e...

From the blogs I have read, it seems like you have a lot of lady friends. So have you met anyone that thinks somewhat like me?
I bet you think i'm weird? or better yet...an ungrateful, selfish, and stupid girl?

FYI
I do like him very much

R


R,

First of all, you are not weird, ungrateful, selfish or stupid. You sound like the perfect catch to me and yes I do know girls like you. The girls I know like you are the girls that are able to hang out with me and the boys without feeling out of place. They can jump right in with the boys and not feel left out or alienated at all. Kerri is exactly like that. If she is hanging out, she is most likely the only girl in the group. This is never a bad thing.

What you need to do is sit your boyfriend down and talk to him about this. The guy likes you a lot and should understand what you are saying if you are sincere about it. I know the type of guy you are talking about and you can't just say, "Give me space" because he will take it as a personal blow. You need to explain why. You need to reassure him that it's not because of him and that you do care for him but you also value your alone time. My ex was like this and it took her 3 months to slightly understand why I would want to sit at home alone or go out alone and not hang out with her.

It may take a little bit of work but you need to sit him down and explain all the things he thinks is weird. Don't just tell him that he should go get drunk and go to a strip club with the boys. Explain to him why and reassure the fact that you still care for him as well. You need him to relate to the reasons that you need space, or want him to hang out with his buddies, or why you don't like roses. You need him to reassure him that it isn't because you like him any less, it's because that is you. Once he understands why you want space or want him to go to a strip club with the boys then he should start appreciating you for the awesome girlfriend you are.

Don't listen to what your girlfriends say about you being ungrateful, I bet some of your man's friends say the same thing to him regarding you. I know a lot of guys that would love to date a girl like you.