Too Much, Too Fast

Dear Mason,

I fell for a guy at work. Even though he was in another city, we became good friends over the phone. He moved to where I stay in January and we started working in the same department.
We started talking almost daily. He used to call me every night, he took me to select a house for him too!

I finally confessed that I loved him and after a long silence of 10 days, he came back to me and said that he really likes me too but is not sure if he loves me. He said he needs some time to figure it out and that we should try seeing each other meantime.
We started going out and I was so happy!! I was very emotionally involved but he wasn't so emotionally involved. He would be great over sms or telephone but very aloof when we were together in person

However, just after three weeks, he said that he does not think it would work out! His reasons were that he doesn't think he cares for me too much and that he will never change as a person. He also said that the problem lies with him and not with me! I think these are just evasive tactics and that he simply didn't like me.

What I cant understand is how he could dump me in 3 weeks??

We were best friends before but now have completely stopped talking to each other. I dont know what to do now and how to handle this situation.
Most of all, I need answers to why he dumped me and what was so bad!

Please help! I have to see him everyday and it kills me

- Fat, Lonely and Sad

Fat, Lonely and Sad,

This sounds like a classic case of too much too fast. A relationship can only move as fast as the slowest person. Move too fast and you'll leave a great person behind. It sounds like you were already head over heals before he had a chance to evaluate the situation. Things should always move slowly. Confessing your love and then dating was the wrong progression of events.

He probably ended it because things were moving too fast. 3 weeks is way to fast to be completely emotionally invested for a guy. Guys emotions take longer to develop than girls and that's why girls see a lot of guys as non-committal. It's not that guys are non-committal, it's that when a girl moves too fast emotionally then it scares off the guy. I have personally been scared off a few times by girls like that and it's nothing against the girls. They were great girls, fun and attractive but too much too fast was too much for me.

This would be a hard one to save but if you think it's worth it then I would suggest the idea to him of dating as friends and taking things real slow. If something like this does happen then whatever you do, do not move faster than him. That would be a best case scenario but no matter what is said now, it won't take away that you did move too fast in the beginning.