Thank you
sophia
Dear Sophia,
You are young, these thoughts are VERY normal. On one hand you really like this guy and don't want to leave him but on the other hand you are thinking that you are giving up your youth for this relationship. The guy sounds like he understands as well. He knows what it's like to be your age and want to explore and see if there is anything out there because u feel stuck right now. This guy sounds like a keeper and wants to make you comfortable with your decision to stay with him so you don't have regrets later on.
Just because you have your space from him and you're hanging out with guys and 'acting your age' that doesn't mean you have to be unfaithful too. You shouldn't settle for being with someone you aren't head over heels for. You need to imagine 2 different realities here. Imagine your life if you ended it with him today and then imagine if you stuck with him. Which one do you like best? Which one can you see yourself doing? It sounds like you are scared to make a commitment right now because of your age but I think that if you did end it and go explore and 'act your age' then you would go right back to being with him after you saw the way guys your age can act in a relationship.
Take the break as a chance to have fun and hang out with boys, you can do that and still be faithful and not feel guilty about it. It's your chance to act your age and you can still be with your guy and live happily ever after. Your guy sounds like a keeper. He is living by the old saying, "If you love someone, let them go and if they come back to you then they are yours."
6 comments:
Hello Mason, and thanks for your email :-)
Just wanted to ask re this post, is that the full letter you got? Cus if not, then I must be missing something.
The guy sounds like someone with low self esteem.
And girl sounds like she has little or no respect for him.
Bottom line: they are not suited for each other. Not now, maybe never.
Then again, I am in a pessimistic mood.
x
Cara
That was the entire letter so I had to work with what I got...
A guy with low self esteem and insecurities wouldn't be comfortable with someone he cares about "exploring her options", he would wanna keep her on a tight leash.
It didn't sound like the girl had no respect, it sounded like she was a confused young girl. A 19 year old girl is going to question what she wants constantly. Sounds like she also has 'The Grass Is Greener syndrome.
Once the girl can identify what she wants then I can see this couple being a happy one.
The glass is always half full Cara ;-)
I'm with Cara on this one 100%
Any guy with any self-respect wouldn't subject himself to this relationship. But then again, any guy with some brains or experience would know he can't expect a 19-year-old to be ready for commitment. Thats ignorance and selfishness for sure.
The girl should definitely be out dating other people. She has so much to learn. If she doesn't get a chance to learn on her own, she'll never be able to have the wisdom and experience necessary for an adult relationship!
He is not in love in her, but in potential future, mature person she might become one day. In order to become mature, she must make her own decisions. He thinks he is too god for her and hopes that she will see that one day when she grows up. I bet that he is secretly hoping that she will find some younger guy who will hurt her badly and after that she will come back to him in tears and settle down.
But he is taking very big risk, because she can find happines with some other guy. I can just hope for his sake that she is worth the effort.
Great insight oldboy
Hi,
I was not in a relationship but got very close to this guy over the summer and when school started again. We use to hang out with each other almost every night during the summer and we got intamate. I have always liked this guy ever since I met him and he never really liked me back. When we did this stuff and hung out at night he thought that I didn't like him anymore. Well now that we got so close I have so many feelings for him that I never new I had. I leted him no how I felt and he kinda just blew it off like whatever. I've tried to stop talking to him and have tried to stay out of his life. So that my feelings will go away for him. It just dosen't seem to work. I always find myself texting him or asking if he wants to hang out.
Is there anyway I could get him off my mind and to stop talking to him?
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