Happy And Single

Despite what you may think, being single is not a bad thing. I have heard this from a lot of girls and up until yesterday I didn't know how to explain this until I spoke with a good friend of mine that had just broken up with her boyfriend. She thought that because she was single then no one wanted to be with her. I had to let her know that this was not true. She can be with guys but as I pointed out, the guys that would be with her right now, today, she wouldn't want to be with and if she did go boyfriend up then she would just be settling for some jerk that won't treat her right instead of holding out for that one awesome guy.

You have to understand when you are single that you are single not because you can't find a relationship, but because being single is your choice. If you make the conscience decision that being single as of right now is your choice, and you stick to that decision and you actually believe it then you will be so much happier as a single person and you will be able to hold out for "that guy".

We all have that friend that has to be in a relationship all the time. That friend that is never single for more than 2 weeks. Think about that friend, their relationships never last more than a couple months at the most. This is because they can never accept that being single and waiting for that right person is their choice. They think that because they are single that no one wants them and they have to get right back into that dating pool to find that boyfriend or girlfriend so they are able to validate themselves. I don't care how your last relationship ended or how you want your new one to start. You need make that decision and realize that being single is your choice.

Once you learn and accept that you're single because you choose to be then it takes all the "need" out of dating. You don't need to date to validate yourself anymore. You are now dating to qualify someone to your standards. It's your choice to be single so you don't need to jump into a relationship with someone who has been throwing up red flags left and right. You don't need to date someone who you're "kind of into" just to be with someone. Choose to be single and accept that you are single because it's your choice. Once you can accept that then dating becomes fun again. You can go out and not worry about impressing someone because you don't need that relationship because you can choose to be single.

Chose to be single, realize that being single is your choice. Realize that you are not single because no one wants you. KNOW that being single is your choice and you are better off single than you are with some jerk as of right now. Once you do that then you will start to see many doors start opening for you.

Miss Confused

Dear Mason,

I was dating someone for a year and then we broke up because he said he wanted space. We used to live together and everything. I was single for a while and now I have just started dating a new guy for about 2 weeks now. After my ex found out I was dating someone else he started telling me that he wanted me to move back in with him. He said he still needed his space but it would be like we were together and we would only sleep with each other and we would live together too. I still have feelings for my ex but I also really like this new guy that I'm dating cause he is such a sweetheart and does everything for me. I can tell he cares about me and he is always trying to do stuff for me. What do I do???

-Miss Confused


Miss Confused,

First you need to stop dating immature guys. Your new guy sounds like a VERY insecure guy and I would get out of that relationship asap. ANY guy who puts his all into a girl in the very beginning like the guy you described really has nothing else going for him except for the fact that he is dating a girl. It may seem sweet and adorable for a little bit but I don't give that more than 3 months until you get annoyed by his neediness.

For the ex, he just doesn't know what he wants. Guys are weird like that. Let me break this down step by step. This guy is confused, when he says he needs space it means that he wants to start looking into other girls to see if there is anyone better out there. By better, i mean better for him. When you start dating another guy then your ex gets jealous and wants you back. Any guy will get jealous if he finds out a girl he is sleeping with is dating someone else. If you go back to him then the same thing will happen again and he will ask for space. Do you really want to date someone who doesn't know what they want? Even worse, someone who doesn't know if they want to be with you?

You should cut off ties with your ex before he confuses you more. It will be push pull until the bitter end if you end up going back to him. Delete his number, erase emails, just cut him out of your life completely. Use this new guy to help you get over your ex. It won't last long with him, I can see you ending it early because of his neediness but it will help you get over your ex and find yourself in the process.


-Mason Stanley