Are You Interested?

Hi Mason,

What "signs" do guys give off regarding their level of interest? I, like many, seem unable to differentiate between friendly interest, a one-night stand interest, and a romantic interest. For instance, I was recently away from home on a business trip and only picked up that this guy was interested in more than just conversation when he invited me back up to his room. Do guys, in general, even begin conversations knowing what kind of interest they have, or is it developed through time?

Thanks!

L

L,

Wow, this is an awesome question. Lets see if I can answer the whole thing. There are different types of interest in different scenarios, at least for me it is that way. Type and levels of interest also are based hugely on the guy. You have your relationship type guys that see girls in terms of relationships. These guys will express their interest in more of an old fashion way. They will try to arrange a lot more one on one time, dates, movie nights, whatever it may be. He will also be into you which means he is interested in what you say, what you do, and just you as a person rather than just you physically. You can tell when a guy is truly interested in you when a lot of the one on one time happens before any sex. That's not to say there isn't any fooling around.

You then have the guys that are interested in girls and girls in general. Whether it be you or the next girl, they are interested in the physical and try to get to that part as soon as possible. These guys are capable of relationships and may try to slow things down for a girl they think they can be in a relationship with but the faster a guy tries to go for sex, the more you know it is strictly a physical thing. That isn't to say relationships haven't been built after sex started but that type of guy would shy away from a relationship because he already has what he wants.

I like to think of myself as the happy medium between the two. I am always meeting new girls and in the back of my head I am thinking relationship but when that dream dies then I can still have the girl around. Without lying or promising a relationship, we simply hang out and 'have fun'.

Some guys will start a conversation with one thing on their mind and they know exactly what they want before they even talk to you. There is a saying, "Girls know if they can see themselves sleeping with a guy 3 minutes after talking to him for the first time. Guys know if they can see themselves sleeping with a girl 3 minutes before he talks to her for the first time." Bottom line, most guys are interested in sex but it's getting them interested in something more after the sex that requires the personality.

In general a guy beginning a conversation with a girl will be interested physically. If a guy starts a conversation with you and you say, "Lets go back to your place." 9 times out of 10 he will say yes. By beginning a conversation with a girl the guy is already expressing interest but by not actually knowing the girl he is only expressing his physical interest.

From there the type of interest will be developed based on the interaction that follows. As I always say, "It is the looks that will make me talk to a girl but it is her personality that will keep me interested."