Stalk Much

Dear Mason,

I dated the guy for a few months. We were close, he dropped I Love You alot. I haven't been divorced for that long, so I wasn't ready for all that. I tried to communicate that I wasn't ready for that kind of commitment. He didn't get it. It was finally just TOO much and I broke up with him completely. I was nice, I did it in person, I let him cry it out....I thought we'd move on. A week later he calls saying "I don't accept the break up, you're still my girlfriend". WTF. NO. A week goes by, more calls and texts to me, his girlfriend. I finally emailed, thinking if i put it in writing he'd get it, that we are NO LONGER DATING. sigh. Maybe I choose poorly but why don't guys just go away when you tell them to?

-P

P,

Wow, that sounds intense. First of all not ALL guys are like this. This guy just sounds like a VERY insecure guy. He most likely thinks that you are the best he can get or will ever have an doesn't want to let you go. You just need to ignore him and let him take a hint. No matter how he tries to contact you, just don't respond. You don't want him thinking that a response means you still care or that you are willing to work things out. The only way he is going to go away is if he forgets about you and to make that happen you need to ignore, ignore ignore.

You can see that you just got over it and no longer want to be with him and are no longer attracted to him in that way. Guys, on the other hand, see things differently. It takes a lot longer for a guy to lose that same attraction for a girl. It reminds me of lyrics from a 50 cent song, "I know if I can hit once, I can hit twice." (Wow, how low have I gone. I just quoted 50 cent.) This is the majority of mentality out of guys. If you hook up with a guy once then he will not understand why you won't do it again in the future. This sounds like your situation to the degree that your old boy can't figure out how you are not attracted to him. "If she was attracted to me before then she can be attracted to me again." It's a glass half full mentality. No guy ever wants to think of it as rejection and he will keep on thinking this and contacting you until he forgets about you or finds someone else.